My lover just don't get me!
Have you ever been in a relationship where you thought things were going great
and then it just faded away and couldn't figure out why?
Let's say there is a male called Raja who feels loved when he is held
affectionately, and a female called Rani who feels loved when she is told so.
One day these two people find themselves together and in love. Rani tells Raja
passionately how much she loves him and in return he holds her so tight and
makes sweet love to her, oh yea! After months go by their pattern continues in
this manner Rani begins to feel that Raja is not in love with her, and that he
is just out for sex, all he does is make love and barely says he loves her.
Rani begins to withdraw physically and Raja begins to feel the love is
diminishing and he feels the passion is gone. When they discuss this they are
both blindsided. He wonders how Rani could even think that. She must be crazy!
Rani thinks "Men! Freakin clueless!" in the heat of anger they break up and
lose potentially the best relationship they had.
So what happened here? Was Rani crazy? Was Raja a sex crazed player? Opposed to
popular belief this was simply a case of miscommunication.
Most of us get caught in showing love the best way we know how. Because we Love
others the way we feel loved. In Rani and Raja's case Raja never loved Rani the
way she desired and eventually Rani withdrew from Raja's need for physical
If they had simply stated how they wished to be loved this would have been a
much different ending to the story. Raja loving Rani would have expressed to
her how much he loved her and how much he appreciates and needs her. Rani would
have felt the passion and love and given Raja the hot passionate love that
makes his toes curl and feel loved the way he desires.
Think about your relationships, have you lost the passion? Do you love the way
you want to be loved or the way your lover desires? This can also apply to many
misunderstandings couples have in life.
List all the ways you feel love, happiness, excitement, joy, sadness, hurt,
anger, loss. This may not be a one day exercise, take time to learn about you.
This will help you express yourself and find understanding in others. Journal
moments you feel anything good or bad, become conscious of your beliefs and
change what doesn't serve you.
Seek to understand and own your destiny!